“The War on ‘What?’: Why I Refuse to Repeat Myself”
You ever notice how many times you say something to a kid… and they just blink back at you with a confused “What?” Like their ears didn’t work. Like they weren’t even in the room mentally when you spoke. And then, without missing a beat, we do it—we repeat ourselves. Again. And again. Until we finally get that half-hearted “Ohhh” and they move like molasses to whatever the task was.
Let me be blunt: this isn’t about kids not being capable. It’s about adults—schools, families, society at large—accidentally training kids not to listen. We’ve built a culture where passive attention is tolerated, even expected. Kids grow up used to the idea that if they don’t catch it the first time, someone will just say it again. And again. And again.
Not in my world.
The Rule in My Programs: I Will Not Repeat Myself
Whether it’s The Training Ground, Soccer Central, or one of my Leadership Programs, there’s a rule that gets laid down early and hard: If you don’t listen the first time, you lose the privilege of the message.
And it’s not cruelty. It’s leadership training.
Because in life, success doesn’t show up with subtitles. If you’re tuning out the people guiding you—your coach, your teacher, your future boss—you’re already losing ground. The ones who rise are the ones who can lock in when it’s time to listen.
So yes, I make a bit of a spectacle out of it. If someone gives me the dreaded “What?” I don’t repeat myself—I publicly let the team know that so-and-so wasn’t listening. Not to embarrass them, but to build accountability. Because if I quietly repeat myself every time, what I’m really teaching is: “Don’t worry, there’s no consequence for zoning out.”
Listening Is a Leadership Skill
I’ve been coaching and mentoring kids for 30+ years. I’ve trained athletes, student-leaders, young coaches-in-training. You know the single biggest differentiator between the ones who make it and the ones who drift?
Active listening.
Not talent. Not hustle. Not even grades.
It’s the kid who makes eye contact. Who absorbs the words the first time. Who can translate instructions into action without the hand-holding.
Those kids grow into employees who don’t need micromanaging. Into leaders who can take direction and make things happen. Into adults who don’t miss the opportunity because they were too distracted scrolling TikTok when someone was explaining the play.
The “What?” Epidemic
This isn’t just about sports or school. This is a cultural illness.
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Parents say things three times at home with zero change.
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Teachers repeat instructions every five minutes because no one wrote it down the first time.
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Bosses send follow-up emails just to make sure their spoken words were actually heard.
We’ve accidentally normalized repetition over retention.
But here’s the hard truth: The world doesn’t repeat itself. It moves on. It hands the opportunity to the kid who was paying attention the first time.
The Antidote: Train the Habit Early
That’s why my programs—from the 6-year-olds in fundamental sports to the high school varsity captains—are built around intentional listening culture. We don’t wait for attention. We demand it. We teach kids that listening is not passive—it’s an active decision, and a leadership skill.
And it works.
The alumni of my programs? They don’t walk around saying “What?” all day. They’re sharp. They’re responsible. They know how to learn, lead, and follow through.
Because in my world, you hear it once. You get it done.
Final Thought
If you’re a parent, a teacher, a coach—do your kids a favor. Stop being the echo.
Teach them to lock in the first time. Expect them to listen like it matters—because it does.
Because someday, they’ll be sitting in a meeting, an interview, or a moment that matters…
And no one will wait for them to catch up.
